5 Hilarious Retirement Wishes for Your Lucky Coworker


It’s time to hit the road. 

The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that four million workers will retire between 2012 and 2022. You will be friends with someone who will retire from your office. 

A great way to wish your coworker well is through a funny retirement wish. But it can be hard to think of a funny wish when you have a retirement card in your hand. 

Don’t worry. You can look at some examples to jog your thinking. Here are five funny retirement wishes. 

1. Using Rhymes

“Your 9-5 days are gone and past. Your happy days are here to last!”

Rhyming enhances the perceived beauty of words while invoking positive emotions. Adopting a consistent meter creates a predictable pattern that comforts the reader. Many people associate rhyming with poetry, which makes a two-sentence rhyme perfect for a retiring writer. 

2. Offering a Call

“Give me a call when you get bored of doing whatever you want to do!”

A wish like this one allows you to affirm your connection with the retiree. They may no longer be working, but the two of you are still friends.

Write your telephone number at the end, if the retiree doesn’t already have it. If the retiree prefers email, replace “Give me a call” with “Send me an email.” 

3. Joking About Money

“The money isn’t better in retirement, but the hours are! Spend them wisely!”

People can spend years planning for retirement. People squirrel away money and risk the capital they have on long-term investments. 

This is a great way to celebrate how a retiree no longer has to worry about money. They can focus on the things they enjoy. 

If the retiree worked in finance, you can modify the wish. For example, you can replace “money” with “capital” if they worked in investing. 

4. Joking About Time Off

“You do realize that you will never have another day off, right?”

This is a good wish to rib someone who took a lot of time off. You can also use this wish for teachers, who have summers off from school. But don’t use this wish for a retiree who doesn’t have a good sense of irony. 

5. Joke for a Supervisor

“Retired?!? Now I can smile because I won’t hear a word you are saying!”

A funny retirement wish for a mentor is difficult. But keep in mind that your coworker doesn’t oversee your responsibilities anymore. You can lean into that for a little joke.  

Don’t get too mean. Your boss can punish you. But you can toy with an employee who oversaw you a little. 

Five Great Retirement Wishes

We are looking forward to the day when we retire. Make your coworker’s retirement a little sweeter with a few retirement wishes. 

Use rhyming if your coworker loves literature. Tell them to give you a call so you can follow up on your relationship.

Wish them well about money, or rib them a little about time off. If your coworker mentored you, make a polite joke about your relationship.

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