While grief is felt by the one experiencing it, it’s always good to have someone who can listen to and be with you. Sometimes it can be hard to comfort someone grieving because you don’t know what to do or say to them. You’re clueless about how to make them feel better.
There are so many ways you can show support to someone grieving. Grieving can be caused by the loss of someone who has passed on. Grief can be caused by especially losing those that were closest to you.
When we grieve, sometimes we think being left alone is the solution, yet being around someone who loves us could be the remedy we need. If you’re comforting a friend in grief, then here are a few tips to simplify your work.
- Understand the Grieving Process
Understand that grieving comes with many emotions, and understand what grief is. Most people in grief will show signs of sadness, anger, depression, and anxiety. They could also show physical changes such as weight loss or gain, fatigue, and stomach problems. Be patient when they don’t want to eat or do something.
- Check on Them
Check on them time and again. You can call them, send a card, send sympathy flowers, or even an invitation to grab some lunch. You’ll be surprised by what these seemingly useless gestures mean to your friend.
- Be a Good Listener
When with your friend, listen to the things they have to say. Sometimes it can be tough to come up with the right thing to say to them. So, just listening to them makes a drastic difference. We want to say something to make them feel better, but sometimes, we just need to listen. Show compassion and empathy, and that’s all they could need now at this moment.
- Ask Them Questions
We often hesitate to ask the person grieving some questions for fear that they may be offended or upset. If you don’t know what to ask them, go for questions that may involve talking about the person who passed on. Check how they feel, don’t try to fix anything because no amount of words spoken can change how a grieving person feels.
- Let Them Cry
As much as it’ll be tempting to try and cheer them up or tell them not to cry, resist it because crying is part of the healing process. Crying is an important part of grieving, allowing you to express deep sadness. Let them scream or even shout if it’ll make them feel better. So let your friend grieve and show that you understand that crying is an important part of their healing.
- Don’t Try to Fix Anything
Remember that there’s nothing you can do to change how they feel about the situation. Never try to say how it happened in the past when you were in the same situation. Understand that we’re all different, and our grieving times and ways are also different.
- Offer to Help Them Practically
By giving your friend practical help, you could save them with things they’re struggling to do for themselves at that time. Offer to clean their apartment for them or do their laundry. Understand that when one grieves, it can cause them to neglect their own basic needs.
- Remember Important Dates That Could Trigger the Grief
It’s important to remember dates such as birthdays and the day the one they’re grieving passed on so that you can check on your friend on the specific dates. This will show love and care. Send them a card or even reach out to your friend to check how they cope on those days.
- Just Sit Quietly With Them
Sit quietly with your friend, even in the dark. Show you’re willing to go the extra mile to make them feel better. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. Remember that your presence is all a grieving person needs.
- Talk About the Deceased
Sometimes we’re afraid to speak about the deceased person because we think it’ll awaken all the pain. Talking about the deceased person could be the thing that could help to facilitate healing further.
Ask questions about the loved ones, like what they liked to do. Ask what your friend loved most about the person who passed on. Encourage them to relive all the moments on the memories they treasured most about their deceased person.
- Don’t Comment on How They Look
Avoid talking about how they look, even if their health has deteriorated and they look awful. Instead, encourage them by asking them to do the things that could improve their health. Encourage them to eat healthily or exercise more without offending them. Avoid reinforcing the feelings that could be the cause of their ill health. Just be there to support them in the ways they need most.
- Don’t Impose Your Religion Upon Them
You could be tempted to share your spiritual views with your friend on the matter they’re facing but don’t. Even when you want your friend to feel peace and comfort, find a better way to do it without mentioning any spiritual factors. If your friend asks about your spiritual aspect, share it and tell them how it works for you.
- Don’t Compare Your Experience With Theirs
Avoid bragging about how you managed to sort out the same problem as they have in the past. Avoid making your friend look weak and useless. Allow the healing to happen naturally, and be there when they need you.
Conclusion
As much as grief can look like it’s stealing time from your friend, allow it to happen. It’s part of the healing process, especially when you have lost someone dear to you. Allow yourself to understand the process that your friend is going through. Also, know that we’re all different, heal differently, and understand things differently.
